Barring any obstacles, I am going to have lap band surgery. I realize it is a somewhat drastic solution to losing weight, but it is one that I strongly feel will work for me. Since Alyssa was born I have been trying to lose weight, and honestly, not doing a very good job of it. Three years later, and all I’ve managed to do is stay within the same ten to fifteen pound range.

I’m sick and tired of being treated like my opinions and thoughts are not valid because of my weight. I am sick and tired of being treated like less of a woman because of my weight. I am sick and tired of being treated like less of a human being because of my weight. I’m tired of the embarrassment, the shame. My value, my WORTH, should not be determined by my weight. But it is. And I’m not tolerating it any longer. I worry about my health in the future. I worry about the example I am setting for my children. I worry about BEING ALIVE for my children, when they marry and have children. I want to be a healthy mother. I want to be a healthy grandmother, and maybe, just maybe, a healthy great-grandmother.

Offline, I know of one woman who had weight loss surgery three years ago. Online, I know of one woman who had weight loss surgery about two years ago, and another that just had weight loss surgery a few days ago. I am diving head first into many different websites about lap band surgery and message boards devoted to talk of lap band surgery, including personal stories and anecdotes.

I have already called my health insurance company to verify that they cover the surgery. They do, though I am responsible for a $1500 deductible and 10% of the surgery costs. I have an appointment with my primary care physician on December 12th. I can’t wait to see how things go from there. I am so ready for this.